DO pretend not to recognize your opponent, even if they won the last regional. Keep it cool, or they’ll smell your fear.
DO ask your opponent if they came from League of Legends or other card games. No matter what they say, go, “Yeah, I could tell.”
DON’T forget to stuff your pockets with extra Discipline. You never know when you will need it.
DO, when asked to cut your opponent’s deck, rotate a card for a free game win.
DO sigh loudly after the mulligan. They’ll never see that Dazzling Aurora coming.
DO run Chinese cards in your deck, and see what you can get away with. (If your opponent is Chinese, switch to French.)
DON’T angle shoot your opponent. Just have a friend look over their shoulder. (KEKW)
DO shuffle your hand often and obnoxiously. This works especially well to hide your trembling fingers. Remember, they can’t intimidate you if you intimidate them first!
DON’T get annoyed if your match goes to game three. Just tilt them by saying, “Looks like this will be another EZ win.” Bonus points if later in the game you mutter, “There’s the winning line.”
DO, after you win, make sure to ask if they’re new to the game. If they aren’t, ask whether it’s their first time playing against your legend.
DON’T scoop in overtime until you check what you would’ve topdecked. Then, make a big fuss about how the opponent slow-played you until a judge comes over.
DO alter your runes so they camouflage with your playmat (and each other).
DON’T worry about whether they’re tournament legal.
DO get your opponent’s Discord handle. After the match, send them a step-by-step analysis of your misplay and how you would have won if you’d found lethal in game three. Then, ask to split tickets because—let’s face it—they pretty much owe you for inting.
for every protein bar. #Liftbound